Grave of the Vampire (1975)

 Rapist vampire… let me say that again. Rapist. Vampire. This story is about a vampire who is specifically a rapist who then brutally (yet bloodlessly) kills his victims. And you know what? I’m fine with watching bad movies on a DVD that I bought for five bucks. I really am. But I’m just not sure how I feel about watching a movie about a rapist vampire. Personally I think rape is pretty serious business and if you’re going to do a movie with rape in it than it should damn well be the central theme and not just a plot point to serve as a motivational backdrop for the main character.

 Ok, so a couple is making out at a graveyard, marriage is proposed and it ends with a rapist vampire killing the dude and raping the girl, mercifully off screen. But their union is… ‘blessed’ with a vampire baby. The baby grows up on his mother’s blood and swears vengeance on the rapist vampire father. I’m pretty sure this is the basis for Johnny Cash’s ‘A Boy Named Sue’. The plot goes nowhere at first, with most of the people you’d think would be the main character dying off pretty quickly. The full-grown vampire baby isn’t introduced until much later in the film. It’s a mess.

 I could barely finish this film. It starts slow and the main character is just not that interesting. You can’t even like the villain since, well, he’s a rapist and you can’t make rapists likeable. Don’t even bother. It’s not fun. It’s not frightening. Quit frankly you’d be better off watching Twilight. And I don’t say that often. Part of the Dark Moon Thriller Collection